Thursday, November 5, 2009

9th Grade Gabe Gets the Last Word

Gabriel Llanas

9th Grade English

Mr. Fornshell

1st Period

November 5, 1992

Response to The Two Gentlemen of Verona

Shakespeare's play, The Two Gentlemen of Verona, can be summed up in one simple lesson: bros before hos.

Valentine and Proteus are bros. They got each others' backs and they look out for each other. That’s why Valentine doesn’t want Proteus to be in love with Julia:

Love is your master, for he masters you;

And he that is so yoked by a fool

Methinks should not be chronicled for wise.(1:1)

Valentine is trying to warn Proteus, that Love turns people into fools. Which is one hundred percent true, as I can tell you from first-person experience. I thought I was in love with Rachel Howie and I asked her to Winter Formal, and she said no. And then I was telling Tito and Brandon about it and I was saying that I was going to try asking her out again, and Tito had my back. He said, “Gabe, you’re retarded. She’s a senior and she’s hot and you’re a dork.” Bros speak the truth even if it hurts your feelings.

Likewise, Proteus has Valentine’s back later on. When he sees Valentine is stupid in love with Sylvia, he says:

When I was sick (with love), you gave me bitter pills,

And I must minister the like to you. (2:4)

Word to that. Proteus even goes above and beyond the call of brohood when he gets Valentine banished for trying to elope with Sylvia. Anytime a bro is going to go and do something stupid, other bros have to step in.

This is like in Star Wars, when Luke is about to try to take on the whole Death Star by himself, and he’s all alone versus Darth Vader and the Empire and then Han Solo comes flying out of the sun in the Millenium Falcon. Because they were bros, Han couldn’t let Luke do something stupid like taking on the whole empire without a little help. I think Chewbacca and Han Solo are two of the best examples of bros in all of western literature.

Also there’s the girl, Julia, who wants to get Valentine to love her again, and so she chases after him dressed as what? I’ll give you a hint: A BRO. That’s right, she put on a wig and tried to be a bro, because she knows word is bond.

I think you’ll find the smartest character in the whole play is Thurio. Thurio was the scorned suitor of Sylvia before Valentine showed up spitting game. And at the end Valentine says he’ll fight Thurio for Sylvia’s love, and Thurio backs down:

I hold him but a fool that will endanger

His body for a girl that loves him not. (5:4)

Thurio knows that young women are not worth fighting over. It’s like the Fresh Prince says: “Girls of the world ain’t nothin’ but trouble.”

In conclusion: Bros Before Hos. Word is Bond. May the Force Be With You.


  1. I don't know. Something tells me if I actually turned this in to him I would have gotten a D-