Monday, September 13, 2010

ANIMECBETH!

Years ago, No Refunds Theater Co. was having a fundraiser called The Great Moments of Kung Fu Theater History. I wrote a little animated piece for it and my brother was working on it, but it was never completed because it was way too complicated for one person to animate. That piece was called Animecbeth. Here is the script for it as well as the promo video I made back then for our website.

Great Moments was the last piece of live theater I had a hand in before I moved to California. I stayed up the entire night before the show and got sick drinking Starbucks Frappuccinos while editing a video yearbook retrospective of our past work. I completely lost my voice and felt like I was going to die by the time we finished the show. It's one of my favorite memories, and one of the things I was most proud of being a part of. I always used to complain that there was too much work and so little money in live theater (especially back in MN), but I miss it, and I miss all my friends from that time of my life. Working hard with good people. You can't beat that.

I may write some more on Macbeth if the mood takes me, but I'm feeling pressed to make it through all the plays by Halloween, so this entry may have to suffice. FYI I wrote this before I had any schooling on screenplay formatting, so excuse the crudity.


Animécbeth

(Open on Intro Montage.)

NARRATOR
Last time on Animécbeth. The weird sisters gave Macbeth a stunning prophecy...

WITCHES
Hail Macbeth, Thane of Cawdor!

(The witches perform some fancy some fancy magic looking thing ala Power Rangers)

MACBETH
Wha-?

NARRATOR
Then the prophecy came true!

DUNCAN
Macbeth, I make you Thane of Cawdor…

MACBETH
Oh!

(Macbeth powers up. Super Mario-ification sound effect)

NARRATOR
Lady Macbeth put on the pants of the family:

LADY MACBETH
Come, you spirits, unsex me here!

(Lightning strikes, she becomes more masculine and powered up.)

LADY MACBETH
Macbeth, you must kill the king so you can be king, or else you’re a wimp, I wanna be queen! AHHHHHH!

MACBETH
Kill the King, oh my gosh! (Close up on Macbeth) Oh, no!

NARRATOR
Macbeth went along with the plan…

MACBETH
Is this a dagger I see before me?

(Duncan is sleeping, but he wakes up.)

DUNCAN
Macbeth?

(Macbeth looks surprised, pan down, we see the dagger)

MACBETH
(nervously)
Uh, ha ha…

DUNCAN
Huh? Uh, ha ha…

MACBETH
(slightly more jovially)
Ha ha ha.

DUNCAN
Ha ha ha.

MACBETH
HA ha ha!

DUNCAN
Ha ha ha!

(They continue laughing. Until suddenly the door bursts open and Lady Macbeth comes in looking all CRAZY like Medusa!)

LADY MACBETH
AHHHHHHHH!!!

DUNCAN
AHHHHHHH!!!

MACBETH
AHHHHHHH!!!

(They all stop screaming. And look, Macbeth has stabbed the king. He dies)

MACBETH
Oh no!

NARRATOR
And then Macbeth became King.

MACBETH
Huh? Okay!

(Macbeth give the okay sign)

NARRATOR
What troubles lie ahead for our Scotsman? We shall see…

(Macbeth walks with Lady Macbeth to dinner. Macbeth goes through increasing states of stress and worry throughout this short.)

LADY MACBETH
I’m so glad you’re King now.

MACBETH
I’m happy and sad too. I’m two different things at the same time… Oh no!

LADY MACBETH
And did you ever see such a fine royal feast?

(Macbeth looks at the table and its feast. There is BANQUO’s GHOST sitting in his chair.)

MACBETH
Oh no! Look a ghost, Ah! Everyone run! It’s the end of the world!

(Mumbling from guests increases.)

LADY MACBETH
He he he, what a funny joke! That’s my husband, quite the actor. He’s always making jokes of one kind or another!

MACBETH
Oh, quit my sight! Ah! Run!

LADY MACBETH
Oh, don’t worry everyone, he’ll stop in a minute.

MACBETH
Ah, everyone run! Ahh! Ghosts! Oh, the fright and horror, Ahh!

LADY MACBETH
(Gets enraged)
All right! Everyone out! Out! OUT!

(The room clears out, LADY MACBETH looks at her hands, there seems to be blood on them)

LADY MACBETH
Huh?


(Insert some sort of action visual transition ALA the bat symbol flying out and back.)

(Macbeth is in the woods to meet the Weird Sisters.)

WITCHES
Double, double toil and trouble
Fire burn and cauldron bubble!
Fillet of a fenny snake
In the cauldron boil and bake.
Eye of newt and toe of frog
Wool of bat and tongue of dog
For a charm of powerful trouble.
Like a hell broth boil and bubble!
Aha ha ha ha!

MACBETH
Hey you!

WITCH 1
By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes!

WITCHES
Ha ha ha!

MACBETH
Oh, you secret, black and midnight hags. What is it you do? Oh, no!

WITCH 2
Adder’s fork and blindworm’s sting!

WITCH 3
Lizard’s leg and howlet’s wing!

WITCHES
Double Double toil and trouble! Ha Ha Ha!

MACBETH
Oh, you’re so weird! What is that Evil Magic? Oh, no!

(An apparition appears from their cauldron. First a severed head with a helmet on, then it poofs and it is a scary baby, and then it poofs again and it is a cute little furry ANIMAL like jigglypuff with a branch in its hand.)

ANIMAL
Dunsinane!

MACBETH
Oh, it’s cute! ...And horrible!

ANIMAL
Dunsinane!

MACBETH
Ha ha ha—Huh?

(Insert some sort of action visual transition.)

(Back at the castle.)

MACBETH
No one born of a woman can beat me until Birnham wood comes to Dunsinane, and that’s impossible. I’m like invincible! OKAY!

(Enter DOCTOR.)

DOCTOR
Your highness, you might want to see the queen, she’s been acting funny!

(Enter Lady Macbeth, she looks crazy and is washing her hands.)

LADY MACBETH
Out, Out damn spot! Out I say! Oh, there’s blood on my hands, get it off, get it off!

MACBETH
Huh? Oh no!

DOCTOR
If she washes her hands for much longer, she could DIE!

(Enter Servant.)

SERVANT
My lord, there’s a woods out there!

(Pause. Macbeth thinks.)

MACBETH
(Timidly)
Is it… Birnham Wood?

SERVANT
YES!

MACBETH
Oh no!

DOCTOR
My lord, the queen is dead. She killed herself of insanity and oversanitation, I’m calling it: INSANITARICIDE!

MACBETH
(Quickly)
Huh? Oh, out out brief candle, life is but a poor player, a walking shadow who struts and frets his hour upon the stage, it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing…(pause. Blinks) Oh NO!

MACDUFF
Macbeth!

(Macbeth powers up and leaps through the roof of the castle. There are trees moving toward the castle.)

MACBETH
Macduff!

(MACDUFF jumps from the trees.)

MACDUFF
Ah! Macbeth, you deserve my fury! You killed the king! And my family!

MACBETH
You may be right, but you may also be dead soon!

(They power up, their shirts fly off, we pan up over their rippling 18,000 pack stomach muscles. They collide in a fury of quick punching.)

MACBETH
Ha! You may as well know, Macduff, that no man born of a woman can defeat me, so deal with that!

MACDUFF
You should know that I was cut prematurely from the womb! Ha ha ha.

MACBETH
You should also know that I can’t be defeated until Birnham word comes from Dunsinane!

(Macbeth is surrounded by the men hiding in the trees. He stops smiling. Blinks. And then looks around, he looks dejected)

MACBETH
Oh NO!

(Macduff smiles, laughs and punches off Macbeth’s head, Macduff lands on the ground and Macbeth’s head lands in the grass. Soldiers in the trees cheer. Close up on Macduff.)

MACDUFF
Who’s the meanest?

SOLDIERS
Macduff!

MACDUFF
Who’s the prettiest?

SOLDIERS
Macduff!

MACDUFF
Who’s the baddest mo-fo, low-down around this town?

SOLDIERS
Macduff!

MACDUFF
The shogun… of Scotland.

(A rainbow crosses the sky and flowers bloom. Roll Credits.)




Ian talks about his single person animation effort on the short.
A few days later, he found he had actual work to do that paid him money, so he had to throw in the towel.



Here is the trailer for the remounting of Great Moments.
It features footage from the original one-night production.
I cut this after I'd moved to California.

1 comment:

  1. Gabe, Great Moments was one of my favorite projects as well. Long overdue for a remount, particularly if you can be convinced to join us in some fashion :)

    ReplyDelete